What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 00:20
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
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What pleasure do guys get by sucking female breasts?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Why is it so hard to date nowadays?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
How do empaths destroy narcissists?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Why are American women so ugly nowadays?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Make Nazis afraid again!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Can you name an example of bad parenting?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
How do I convince my husband that a threesome is okay?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
If you received hand-me-downs as a child, how did they make you feel?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!